Friday Fictioneers – 15.5.13 “The Discovery…”

 

 

It’s another great pic from http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/author/rochellewisoff/ and so begins another great round of seeing the collective creativity of t’Internet at work!

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

Image

This was not a world to bring a child into, wanted or not, but she had to.

Pretty as they seemed, these troughs once flowed with crystal clear life that dripped wet and sweet to feed not only the gardens, but also the rills and house beyond.

Now they flowed green, sluggish; they fed no more than themselves and cared not for anyone who might – or might still – have depended upon their generosity. Timeworn and carefree, the white cathedrals still stood proud amongst the pagan green, but were muted and silent, perhaps contemplating life’s passing or death’s beginning.

 

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15 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – 15.5.13 “The Discovery…”

  1. I think this line is true of more than just old aqueducts: ” they fed no more than themselves and cared not for anyone who might – or might still – have depended upon their generosity.” You do have a poetic way of writing.

    janet

  2. Such beautiful, lyrical writing. Makes you feel like you’re there at the aqueduct, taking the time to really look around.

  3. There is a lot to be read between the lines here. I really liked the story that I can read between the line… the pagan green, the white cathedrals… something slightly apocalyptic here…. but first of all very well written.

  4. You paint such a contrast between the past and the present. I loved ‘…white cathedrals still stood proud amongst the pagan green..’ Would like to know more about the backstory and future of your character.

  5. Mysterious and suspenseful. I like this not-just-for-decoration imagery: cathedral white and pagan green. It sets the time of the piece too. Something not nice has happened to the world in the nine months of your character’s pregnancy. Nature is not functioning properly. It must have been unexpected or she would have chosen against pregnancy. You do a lot with 100 words. 🙂

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